Yesterday was one of those days. A day when I'm sure if it is humanly possible to have THAT much patience. A day when I start breathing slowly consciously in through my nose and out through my mouth. A day when if I don't just focus on breathing I might scream or my brain might explode.
I'm not sure if it was because Noah had just returned to school after a long Thanksgiving break or if it was because he wasn't feeling so great with his cold....
I picked him up from school and foolishly thought we would make a quick trip to Walmart. I was JUST there the day before but as always I forgot some things. From the minute he got in the car it was like a town hall open forum had just started in the backseat and the residents weren't happy.
"It's cold outside."
"It's hot in the car."
"My coat is itchy."
"How long will we be at the store."
"I hate the store."
...and on and on and on. Once we got to Walmart and made it into the store Noah started asking me what we needed to buy. He wasn't really interested in the purchases of course but used my information to gauge how long we would be there. Needless to say he wasn't pleased with my list.
We walk through the aisles and he starts doing something he hasn't done in a long time. He's touching everything...EVERYTHING! Clothes, toys, glass stuff....everything. Over and over I had to say, "Stop touching...Stop touching...Stop touching!" And then as I'm looking at Christmas lights he begins to break dance in the aisle. Maybe on another day it would have been funny or cute but just then it wasn't. I had to just close my eyes and breathe.
Noah then asked, "Why are you closing your eyes?"
"Because mommy just needs a minute. You're not listening and it's getting really irritating and I just need a minute."
To which he replied, "Maybe I'm not irritating you. Maybe you're irritating me."
And so that's how the rest of the day and night went.
This morning he got up. He got dressed. He ate breakfast. He brushed his teeth. He did all of it without me asking. He did it all without complaining. So I have hope that today will be much better than yesterday.
There are good days. There are bad days. Hold onto the good days and let go of the days that you stand with your eyes closed breathing loudly in the shopping aisle of Walmart while a six year old boy break dances behind you.