UN-settling In

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I MISS Louisiana!

We have been in our new house for about 2 months now. We have been living in Illinois for about 4 months. You would think that by now I would be adjusting. I'm not. It doesn't feel like home to me. When we moved in I went decorating crazy. I think my mentality was if I can just get the house to look like I want it to it will feel like home. So I shopped, I decorated, and still I feel no attachment to this house. I got as far as the kitchen and kind of gave up. I have no motivation to get the rest of it done. 

I think what makes this moves so hard is that there isn't a time limit set on it. Previously when we moved with the military we were given an amount of time that we would be living in our next home. Germany 4 years...Italy 2 years. I wasn't as home sick then as I am now. I knew at the end of it there was a possibility we were headed home to Louisiana. But here, there isn't a time limit. We could be here forever. Please don't let it be forever! 

We moved here because Joey can make more money here. More money means I don't have to work. I can stay at home and we can have a baby. It means a better life for us. Now I realize, what does it matter if we don't have anyone to share it with? I want to stop by my mom's house at night and just sit and talk. I want to go to church with my brother on Sundays. I want to have a glass of wine with my sister and laugh all night. I want to go to home depot with my dad and be in awe of his vast knowledge of everything tools. (Every time I go to a home improvement store I get sad...weird I know. I look at all the stuff and think, "I don't have a clue what this does...but my dad does.) Most of all I want Noah to see his grandparents more than just every few months. In LA Noah was with one of his grandparents every weekend. We never saw Noah on the weekends. By Wednesday everyone called to check his schedule for the approaching Saturday and Sunday.  It breaks my heart when he asks if he can spend the night with them and I have to tell him no, that it's too far away. He wants to know if his cousins are coming to his birthday party, again no it's too far away.

I really wish we could go back and make this decision again. I would definitely choose to stay in LA.I'm hoping this feeling will pass but I don't think it will....

Having a sad crummy Tuesday.

I bet IL doesn't have crawfish...a summer necessity.