Sunday, August 3, 2014

I don't wanna!!!!!

Today is my last day as a stay at home mom and my heart is breaking. Although I know I'll like my job and the people there because I know them all and I've done this job before, I still want to scream, "I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA!"

I'm stressing out about how in the world I will manage to get everything done. There will be so little time when I get home for homework, dinner, cleaning, showers/baths, and bedtime.  How do you other working moms do this??? When I went back to work with Noah he was 3. It was a lot easier than this is. Emily is a baby and now there are TWO children to take care of.

I'm also mourning the loss of my mommy and Emily time. She was mine all mine all day every day. Now I turn her over to the daycare ladies. They are wonderful and loving but let's face it, they can't love her like I can. Plus there are lots of other babies to care for as well as Emily.

My brain is saying, "Ashley be reasonable. You have to do this. There isn't another option right now."
My heart is sobbing, "Shut up brain! We could just skip a few meals and maybe not make the car payment, do we really need two cars? Stay home!!!"

And now I'm off to prepare for work tomorrow. We'll see how this goes....


  1. oh honey! big hugs. i have no words of advice because i know nothing about it - i'm sure everything will work out perfectly though!

  2. I know exactly how you feel. My boys are 5 and 3, and I still struggle with this and have days where I think the same things - who needs to pay for bills, screw it, we'll make do with less, I need to be there for my babies! Sigh. Bigs hugs girl, I know how difficult it is, but I promise you get through it.

  3. It will be ok, first day back will be hard but it will get easier Im sure xxx


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