In order to do anything around the house, eat, or even pee, I have to be a ninja. I need to work on my skills though because so far it isn't going well. It goes something like this...
Feed Emily. Lay her on the floor. Play peekaboo 7.2 billion times. When does peekaboo stop being fun? I hope not soon. I love her laugh when I magically appear from behind the blanket. Have to pee! Emily watches me leave but seems fine with it. Why doesn't anyone replace the toilet paper but me???? of course there isn't any extra in this bathroom either. Have to go upstairs to get some. Have to walk by the living room. Successfully make it upstairs unseen! Since she's happy maybe I'll clean up the bathrooms. Clean clean clean. Better check on her. PEEEEEEEEAK around the corner. How does she know to look this way as soon as I look around the corner? I can tell what she's thinking as she sees me and cries. Shes saying: You! You there lady! I've just noticed you are not within touching distance of me. This is unacceptable. Please return immediately to your spot on this rug, preferably with me in your lap. If you wish to vaccate my presence you must submit an authorized form in writing. Your request will be denied because I'm only 7 months old and can't read. Now fetch me my Abby Cadabby and Elmo. Make them dance for me! Love ya moms.
Feed Emily. I need to eat. Put Emily in her Jumpy. Oh good she's happy! Walk slowly away. Do not make any sounds. Avoid eye contact. Upon arriving in the kitchen commence food preparation. Eat food at the counter. Returning to the living room or the dining room will allow Emily to see me. She will demand I put that plate down and pick her up. Mmmm food is good. Cough cough cough. Crap! She heard me cough! Now she's crying because she KNOWS I'm hiding in here.... Return to living room. Abandon half eaten meal.
Play with Emily. She seems pretty entertained with this caterpillar singing thing. I'll just run and do the dishes real quick. Run water. Begin loading dishwasher. Spill water. Realize clean dishtowels are still folded on the dining room table...in the sight line of the currently happy baby. Okay. Sneak slowly into the dining room. She's looking the other way! Yes! Pick up towel. Trip over laundry basket making lots of noise. She's spotted me! Abort the mission abort the mission! I've made it safely to the kitchen. No crying yet just little eh eh eh sounds. Oh now she's crying. No, screaming. Leave dishes to be done until she's in bed.