Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Amazed

I feel lucky. I feel blessed.

My house is quiet. My little family sleeps.

How did we get here? Married for ten years. Little boy. Baby girl. Happy home. This is everything I wanted. I'm finally taking  a moment to let it all sink in. THIS is MY life. How did I get dealt these cards? I am amazed. We got married so young. Right out of high school. Joey joined the Army. We spent almost our whole first year of marriage away from each other. Then we had Noah. Deployments once again separated us and made me a single mom. We had a lot of problems after that second deployment. I don't really know what happened. Slowly over the years pieces of our happy relationship were just being chipped away. We separated. There were divorce papers. I lived with my mom. We passed Noah back and forth. There was fighting. There was a lot of sadness. That was the hardest time of my life. By the grace of God we were able to pull it all back together. Be better for each other. Recommit ourselves to really loving and liking each other.   There were new stronger promises made. There was happiness and laughter again. After a while we wanted a baby. We hoped. We tried. Tried. Tried. I cried. Cried. Cried. I didn't know it at the time but at my appointment to discuss fertility options I was in fact pregnant. It was just too soon to tell.  Just a few short weeks later I was blessed with a positive pregnancy test. We were having a baby. Finally. Then we found out we were having a baby girl. Emily. I knew she was a girl. I knew we would name her Emily. When Noah was about 3 he drew pictures of our family. Always including a little girl he called his sister Emily. That was 4 years before she was born. After she arrived I felt whole. This is it. THIS is my family. We are complete. We are happy.

Now I sit in this quiet house. My family sleeps

I feel so lucky. I feel so amazingly blessed.

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