Burdens

I want you to picture all of the things that you worry about. Clearly see the stuff that weighs heavily on your shoulders. The big things. The small things. The stuff no one knows about. Now I want you to imagine you have a sack. Begin to bundle up all of those things. Picture yourself approaching the thrown of Jesus. Remember that bundle of burdens you have? One by one begin to lay them at His feet. Now this is where so many of us get it wrong. I'm guilty of it too.

Once we've worshiped Him and thanked Him for everything He's done for us. After we've placed all our troubles at His feet and told Him we trust Him, sometimes we pack those burdens back up. We're saying, "Thanks Jesus for holding these for a little while. You know I felt so peaceful while you held onto them. I feel revived and renewed. I'll just gather this stuff up and get it out of your way. I think I can deal with it on my own now."

Maybe we don't leave with all of the burdens. Often we leave with our sack just almost empty. There's still that one little burden in there. It's that one thing that we've struggled with for so long it's hard to let go of. Maybe it's something that seems so small to you that God couldn't possibly care about it. 

Leave. It. All.

Once you let go of something leave it alone. Trust that He can deal with it in a way that you never could. He can do so much more with your mess than you ever dreamed. He will fight for you. I know it because He has fought for me. I have not always been the best person. I have chosen the wrong thing again and again. Yet He loves me. His love is not contingent upon how good we are. It knows no boundaries. He loves you right where you are, even in your deepest darkest place. There is none like Him. He's waiting to take the things you carry everyday. He wants to take your struggles from you. You've just got to hand them over. 

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. - Psalm 55:22

The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still. - Exodus 14:14

Life Lately

My poor little blog. I love to write. Sadly it's the one thing I have trouble finding time for. I'd love to be able to write everyday again. I need to make it more of a priority. Anyway.....

So much has gone on at home lately. We've just been so busy. It's a good busy though. We've fallen into a better rhythm with homeschooling. We still have some really rough days but for the most part it's fun. I'm looking forwards to next year because Noah is really excited about his curriculum. I can't believe he'll be 11 in December. He's a great big brother. You know...when he's not picking on Emily. I don't know how they even manage to fight. She's 2. He's 10. What could they possibly have to argue about? Noah is very smart. He's funny like his dad. He has a very kind heart. I love to watch his faith grow. I'm excited to see the ways that God will use him. Oh. He also hates when I share photos of him now... So if you follow me on social media that's why my pictures are mostly of Emily lol

Emily is so much fun. She gets into a lot of trouble. One night before bed Noah couldn't find his 2 favorite animals. We looked everywhere. He insisted they had to be in Emily's room. In the process of checking her room I woke her up. I asked her if she knew where they were. She told me they were in brothers room. I asked her to show me. She ran straight to his nightstand and opened the drawer. She had hidden them inside. I know she did this on purpose because she KNOWS they are his favorite.  Her antics are so naughty but hilarious. It's hard to tell her no when we're all laughing. She knows what she wants and she wants it all right now. She's also very sweet. She likes to give hugs and kisses, on her terms of course.

We're still dealing with our flooding backyard. Every time it rains we have a lake. We did finally landscape the front. When and if we move someday I feel like I don't want close neighbors. I love people but I'd like a little more privacy and quiet. We've been here for almost 2 years now. Joey wants to move to Florida but I'm not ready to move anywhere lol. Moving is my least favorite thing!

We have a trip to Disney planned for next month. I know. I know. We just went in December. Since Emily is 2 she's free. So that paired with a great discount made it possible for us to go again. We're also driving this time. Which saves us thousands of dollars. It is SO expensive to fly from here! I'm more excited about this trip because now Emily knows who all the princesses are. We booked a Disney Cruise a long time ago but we wont actually be going until next year. After that we'll be done for a while. We have never gone on a big family vacation before. We've never really been able to. I would much rather spend the money on experiences and time together than on things to fill up my home.

Other than that things are the same mostly. My house is a mess. There is laundry to do. The dogs play in the mud and I have to bathe them. The usual.

Agape Women

On Monday nights there is a group of women that meet all over town. They open the doors of their homes to each other expecting and anticipating the Holy Spirit to move. And He does...my how He does.

If you pulled up outside you'd hear our loud laughter and noisy chatter. If you were just walking into the room you'd most likely assume we have all been friends for years. Some of us have but most of us have only known one another for a very short time. We just have this special bond. I can't describe how much these women mean to me. I can try though....

We love one another unconditionally. I wish women all over the world could get along in this way. The world would certainly be a different place. We support one another regardless of mistakes we've made, things we've been through, or where we come from. We have true honest agape love. We cry together and comfort one another. We share our stories and our mess. We lift each other up. Knowing that if I ever needed anything, big or small, all I have to do is text or call one of them and they will all jump together to help and serve is so comforting. Their kindness and love is overwhelming. They are a safety net knit together by God himself.

We are so different and that is a blessing. Because of our differences I can take something from each and every one of them and learn from it. I have grown so much with them. With them I've learned to pray, to not hold back the gifts God has given me, to be bold and brave. God has used them to mold and shape me in ways I never expected. I thank Him every day for placing them in my life.

I know there will still be trials and storms because this is life. I also know that having people to pray with you and for you makes it easier to overcome the hard times. I know God chose this specific time in my life for them to appear. I've walked through things with them that would have been devastating with out them. To be able to reach out immediately to them and say I'm hurting, I'm drowning, I don't know what to do, and to have them respond with encouragement, scripture, prayer, and understanding is beautiful. They are not just my connect group. They are not just my friends. They are my family.



There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.  - Proverbs 18:24

Miss Emily is two

This is what two looks like. It is a girl in a party dress and sneakers covered in dirt. It's full of smiles and laughter. It's made up of tears and frustration. I can tell it's hard to be two. You think you're SO big but you're still so small. These two years have gone by so quickly. I knew that they would.


Emily is FUNNY. I can not tell you how much laughter fills our home because of her. Most often she isn't trying to be funny. The things she does and says are just so comical.

Emily is SMART. I almost put that she is mischievous but really it's her smarts that get her into trouble. She will get water from the fridge if you don't remember to lock the dispenser. She will pour it into other things around the house. She will hide things and remember exactly where she's hidden them. "Emily where are my keys?!?...Oh you've hidden them nicely inside your bin of blocks."

Emily KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS. She'll let you know too. Whether it's demanding MILK or telling poor Minnie where she can and cannot sit, Emily thinks she is in charge.

Emily is BEAUTIFUL. I'm still amazed by her. I love all of her tiny features. I just stare at her!

Emily is SNUGGLY. Sometimes.... When she's sleepy or upset she just wants to be held. I soak up all of those cuddles.

Emily is VERBAL. She talks a lot! Sometimes we have no idea what she is saying an other times we know exactly what it is. This morning she told me her baby was happy because it's morning lol.

Emily....
Dislikes all songs except The Morning Song (which I made up), 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, and The Finger Family song. This means that at bed time instead of singing lullabies I sing these songs. If I try to sing anything else she shouts at me to stop.

Loves to eat. She eats a lot of different things. I'm so glad she's not too picky.

Can be really shy but also want a lot of attention.

STILL holds her breath when she gets upset. I really would like this to stop =(

Loves her baby dolls more than any other toy.

She is absolutely amazing in every way and I can not wait to see what the next year has in store for her. I just hope it doesn't sneak up so fast!!!

She's not yet two...

And yet when I look at her this voice shouts she's two! She's two! And it just won't shut up. I don't want her to be two yet. I'm not ready for it. I wasn't ready for her to be one either, but that happened anyway. I think it's harder than when Noah was a baby because she is it. The same voice that shouts she's two also shouts there are no more! Don't get me wrong. I  am completely content with our family of four. We are certainly done. It's just hard letting go of the baby stage. When I rock her I think when will be the last time I rock her? How will I know? How will I seal it in my mind? I was so sad when we gave her the last bottle she would ever have and yet I don't remember that actual last time. 

She changes so much everyday. I swear sometimes she grows over night. She is less and less my baby and more and more a toddler. A toddler with distinct likes and dislikes. A toddler with attitude. A toddler with so much energy I don't know how I keep up. She has switched from favoring my husband to choosing me most of the time. I like to think she knows that I'm the one who is having a tough time accepting her impending two-ness. Maybe somehow she senses it and knows I need more snuggles. 

I just sit and watch her sometimes. She brings me so much joy. Her laugh is contagious. When it's bedtime and I'm rocking her sometimes she'll put her face close to mine. Her nose will touch mine. She'll laugh and laugh and then neither of us want it to be bedtime anymore. Children change so quickly! Blink and you'll miss something. Her birthday is getting closer and closer. Two just seems so big to me! I still have some time though. 


She's not yet two...

Your home IS your mission field.

You fold the laundry and wonder why you aren't being used more by God. You do the dishes and think you're not out feeding starving children somewhere. You mop up spilled milk and ask why you aren't building homes in a poor town far away. Why does your part feel so small? Why aren't you doing real kingdom work? Why are you in this house not really doing much of anything? You should be making a difference...

You are. I promise you are. Your home is your mission field. See those little ones? Do you feel their eyes on you. They're watching. They see how you pray. They watch how you worship. They notice how you handle a crisis, big or small. Everything you say and do guides them. You are molding them.
You are preparing them for the things God is going to call them to do. Maybe you haven't been called to do battle in foreign lands but your children might be. Your job is not small. Your job is significant. The seeds you are planting now will reap a great harvest. You are building a foundation for their faith. What could be more important than that?

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs 31:26 has been pulling at my heart for quite some time. Now I see it all the time in books I read or blogs I visit. I find myself turning to that verse in the Bible over and over again. The first time I read it I thought WOW that's the kind of woman I want to be. Now I read it and I know it's also the kind of mother I need to be.

She speaks with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. - Proverbs 31:26

I thank God that as He helps me raise my children He is also teaching me. He is leading me, and you, through this season with gentle hands. We ask so much of ourselves. We want to be supermoms. We do and try as hard as we can. We wear ourselves out. There is no break time for a parent. We can often feel under appreciated. We wonder if we are even doing a good job. We need to be gentle with ourselves in the same way that God is gentle with us.

He will tend his flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in his arms; He will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. - Isaiah 40:11


When you're feeling tired and overworked. When you think you aren't enough. When there seems to be so little appreciation for what you do. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Know He has given you a task so wonderful and worthy of admiration. Your job is far from small. He sees you. He is proud of you. He is watching over your every step. He has given you a mission field and he will be right there beside you guiding you through it.

He. Loves. You.

Homeschool

Noah really dislikes having his picture taken. His favorite part about homeschool is eating when he wants....

Homeschool.... We're doing this. We are really doing this. If you told me ten years ago that I would one day be thrilled to homeschool I would not have believed you. I am however beyond thrilled. Over the moon excited about this adventure.

It started as a joke. We are going to Disney in December. Shhhhh. The kids don't know! 
So naturally I looked up the schools policy on making up work. Noah would miss four days of school. Four days he would not be able to make up any work because his absence would be unexcused. Jokingly I mentioned to my husband that if we homeschooled that wouldn't be an issue. That led to discussing how bored Noah was the last two years with school. It wasn't challenging enough for him. He'd quickly finish his work and spend the remainder of his time talking to his classmates, which his teachers didn't enjoy. He'd draw ON HIS CLOTHES. We could put him in the AIM program but that only got him out of the classroom once a week. We could test him up a grade but the jump from third to fifth grade socially is huge and I wasn't comfortable with that. So that's when I found myself making the decision to homeschool. I'm so glad we chose to do it.

We actually started as soon as the different things I ordered began to arrive. Noah was that excited about it. We're about 2 months into it and it's going well. I love teaching him something and watching him go through the process of learning. We do of course have days when he is just not having it. Days when he could care less about learning. Those are the days I really have to practice patience and not let my mind wander to why are we doing this again? He's a kid. He's going to have good days and bad days. I will too.

I did however underestimate a few things. For instance, I stay at home. That used to mean while Noah was at school I'd play with Emily and clean the house. Well now Noah's school is here. I'm trying to find a balance to it all. More often than not my house is a mess (The Messy House) but Noah has learned something and Emily is happy. The house is not my top priority lol. I save Math and Science for when Emily naps. Those are the two subjects Noah needs me sitting with him at the table for. The rest of them I can help him with while I do the dishes or play babies with Emily for the 100th time that day


Homeschooling works for us for now. I honestly feel God has been leading me to this. He has been preparing me. He has provided in so many ways. Two or even just one year ago I could not have done this. I can feel Him stretching me. I see the growth. I used to pray all the time to be a patient parent, I still do. I am far from having the patience thing down but I am leaps and bounds from where I was. I could not sit at the table going over and over a lesson without exploding in frustration without that growth. (I feel like that's a whole blog post in itself.)

I'm just really enjoying this new season of our lives. I will embrace the smooth joyful days because they will sustain me through the rough ones lol. Most of all I'm enjoying this extra time I have with Noah. Time passes so quickly.