She's not yet two...

And yet when I look at her this voice shouts she's two! She's two! And it just won't shut up. I don't want her to be two yet. I'm not ready for it. I wasn't ready for her to be one either, but that happened anyway. I think it's harder than when Noah was a baby because she is it. The same voice that shouts she's two also shouts there are no more! Don't get me wrong. I  am completely content with our family of four. We are certainly done. It's just hard letting go of the baby stage. When I rock her I think when will be the last time I rock her? How will I know? How will I seal it in my mind? I was so sad when we gave her the last bottle she would ever have and yet I don't remember that actual last time. 

She changes so much everyday. I swear sometimes she grows over night. She is less and less my baby and more and more a toddler. A toddler with distinct likes and dislikes. A toddler with attitude. A toddler with so much energy I don't know how I keep up. She has switched from favoring my husband to choosing me most of the time. I like to think she knows that I'm the one who is having a tough time accepting her impending two-ness. Maybe somehow she senses it and knows I need more snuggles. 

I just sit and watch her sometimes. She brings me so much joy. Her laugh is contagious. When it's bedtime and I'm rocking her sometimes she'll put her face close to mine. Her nose will touch mine. She'll laugh and laugh and then neither of us want it to be bedtime anymore. Children change so quickly! Blink and you'll miss something. Her birthday is getting closer and closer. Two just seems so big to me! I still have some time though. 


She's not yet two...

Your home IS your mission field.

You fold the laundry and wonder why you aren't being used more by God. You do the dishes and think you're not out feeding starving children somewhere. You mop up spilled milk and ask why you aren't building homes in a poor town far away. Why does your part feel so small? Why aren't you doing real kingdom work? Why are you in this house not really doing much of anything? You should be making a difference...

You are. I promise you are. Your home is your mission field. See those little ones? Do you feel their eyes on you. They're watching. They see how you pray. They watch how you worship. They notice how you handle a crisis, big or small. Everything you say and do guides them. You are molding them.
You are preparing them for the things God is going to call them to do. Maybe you haven't been called to do battle in foreign lands but your children might be. Your job is not small. Your job is significant. The seeds you are planting now will reap a great harvest. You are building a foundation for their faith. What could be more important than that?

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs 31:26 has been pulling at my heart for quite some time. Now I see it all the time in books I read or blogs I visit. I find myself turning to that verse in the Bible over and over again. The first time I read it I thought WOW that's the kind of woman I want to be. Now I read it and I know it's also the kind of mother I need to be.

She speaks with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. - Proverbs 31:26

I thank God that as He helps me raise my children He is also teaching me. He is leading me, and you, through this season with gentle hands. We ask so much of ourselves. We want to be supermoms. We do and try as hard as we can. We wear ourselves out. There is no break time for a parent. We can often feel under appreciated. We wonder if we are even doing a good job. We need to be gentle with ourselves in the same way that God is gentle with us.

He will tend his flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in his arms; He will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. - Isaiah 40:11


When you're feeling tired and overworked. When you think you aren't enough. When there seems to be so little appreciation for what you do. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Know He has given you a task so wonderful and worthy of admiration. Your job is far from small. He sees you. He is proud of you. He is watching over your every step. He has given you a mission field and he will be right there beside you guiding you through it.

He. Loves. You.