What parenting a toddler is like.

While I gave our new puppy a quick bath in the sink Emily notices she can't see the action. She begins loudly expressing her unhappiness about this situation. Calmly telling her I would show her the puppy in a minute didn't help. Out of anger she began tugging on my pants. My stretchy yoga never go to yoga pants. I can't let go of the puppy because she'll run all over the counter and my hands are wet. So there I am pant-less, in the kitchen, bathing a wiggly puppy, while a screaming toddler clings to my leg. Yep. parenting a toddler is just like that.

It's like raking leaves in a tornado most days. What are you doing tiny person? Why are you so messy? Why are you sticky? We haven't even eaten anything sticky today. Of course there are calm sweet moments but the crazy stress you out times are the ones I laugh at most....because you really just have to.

Emily appears to want cheese in the picture above. She crawls to the fridge every time it is open and snatches a cheese stick. Then she throws a fit because she wants it open. She wants it on her tray. She wants cheese!!!! But not really. After all the fit throwing and demanding the cheese sits on her tray never to be touched. She used to love cheese. I feel like she's doing this on purpose, to mess with my head some.

Emily expresses anger through licking. Yes. Licking. When she's mad she will lick the floor, the fridge, the cabinets, the couch, whatever is closest to her. I've never heard of a kid doing this. I guess it's better than biting?

I like to think I'm the boss but deep down I know she is. I wake up when she wakes up. I eat when she eats. If she wants to play we play. I'm just soaking up all of her crazy toddler moments because soon they'll be gone. She's already not a baby anymore. Time goes by way too quickly.

Write or Die Wednesdays: Snowfall

Vashelle and Mia host a fun weekly link up called Write or Die Wednesdays.

This week the promt is the word Snowfall.

All I can think of when I hear "snowfall" is our time in Illinois. We just moved back from there and one of the things I was happy to escape was the never ending snow. Don't get me wrong. I do like snow. It's very pretty. It's fun to play in. It makes it feel like Christmas. However, when the snow is still around and it's April that's not cool.

This was our home in IL all covered in winter bliss.

It really was beautiful. Then it didn't go away. It just kept snowing! In April! Noah played soccer while white flakes fell from the sky. The parents guzzled coffee and pulled their blankets tighter around them. I am glad it doesn't usually snow here. I did miss it at Christmas time though. Maybe one year we will visit a snowy location for Christmas. Snow during the holidays is fun, much beyond that is just yuck.

It's Okay

I'm linking up with Airing My Dirty Laundry for It's Okay Tuesday.

It's okay...

- that my house is a MESS! I've given up on cleaning while Emily is awake. She is a tornado. Her path of destruction stretches from one end of the house to the other.

- that I've finally accepted that I am the messy one in our marriage. Looking at our closets the other day confirmed this. His closet is neat and organized. Mine consists of clothes and shoes all over the floor...some on the hangers. Oh well.

- to eat a whole pan of brownies. It is right? Because I did. It was an 8X8 pan. A pan filled with chocolaty goodness.  It was over a span of about 4 days. I didn't even realize it happened until my husband said, "You know you've eaten that whole thing right? I had one. So unless Noah has eaten them...."
Noah had not eaten them.

- that Emily isn't walking. I honestly think she's afraid to. She can take about 5 steps but she CHOOSES to crawl all of the time. She'll do it eventually.

- that all of our tax refund will go towards paying bills. Yay being a grownup!

- that we might have a puppy this weekend. The husband is way more into getting one than I am. We'll see.


Have a great Tuesday everyone!!!!

Home

Source: QuotationsIsland

I am so glad to finally have time to blog again. I have to begin by thanking God for orchestrating my current situation. It is an amazing place to be. I was lucky to stay home with Noah for 3 years. My intention was to have the same with Emily. Unfortunately things didn't work out that way. We were living in Illinois and had the opportunity to move back to Louisiana. That decision would come with a pay-cut for my husband and result in me returning to work. Emily was 8 months old. I was excited about moving back but terrified about leaving Emily.

I started working in August. The entire time praying that something would change. That either I'd become stronger and be able to REALLY get a grip. Stop crying because I was missing everything. Stop feeling guilty. Stop feeling like I wasn't doing enough. OR that I would be able to stay home again with her. Joey left with the kids at 6:30 in the morning to drop them off at daycare. I got home at night around 6:00, just in time for dinner, bath, and bed. It was tearing me apart.

Then God stepped in and changed it all.
Joey was hired by a recruiter here so for a few months he was paid by the recruitment company and not by his actual company. He came home one day and told me that at the time he was to convert from being paid by the recruiter to being paid by the company....the company was planning to pay him LESS than he was making at that time. LESS. Instead of panic I had a sense of calm. I had been in prayer and felt assured that good things were coming.

The next day Joey is texting me like crazy. After informing his boss that this was not an option for our family and he would have to find something else he was called into a meeting. In that meeting was his boss and the boss of a different department. Both wanting him to work for them. Both now offering him a much higher salary.What my husband does is an extremely underpaid career field here in Louisiana. We could live somewhere else and make 2 or 3 times as much. Getting paid a good wage is almost impossible. We anticipated me HAVING to work here. But because GOD doesn't operate in our rational ways. Because He operates in extraordinary ways. Because He loves the impossible. This amount was enough to allow me to quit my job. I can stay home with my children. I can return to school to get my teaching degree.

His timing is also perfect. Always. The first two weeks have been nothing like I thought they would be. Emily and Noah were both very sick. If I was working I would have used up the majority of my sick time as well as had to push my work off onto someone else for all the days I would have been out. My mother's fiance passed away. If I was working I would not have been able to spend time taking care of her and helping her. I would have been working and stressing about not being able to really be there for her.

I am however grateful for the time I did have to work. It gave me perspective. It made me more appreciative of the blessing being home is. I didn't realize all I would be missing until it was gone.
Now I'm going to go snuggle Emily.... simply because I can.

Write or Die Wednesday - Photo Prompt

Today's prompt was a photo:

Laura sat on the back porch staring out into the field. She once thought the view was beautiful. Who wouldn't? 

Lush green grass. Bright morning sun. Puffy white topped dandelions as far as the eye can see. 

The passing of her father changed her outlook on the world. In the grass she now only saw the disgusting bugs crawling and burrowing into the ground. The sun blinded her and stung her eyes. The dandelions were merely annoying weeds, their tips carrying off into the wind to spread over someone else land. She hated everything about this place now. There could be no joy without his laughter. No smiles without his warm hugs and kind words. Who was going to pick her up after school and help with her math? Her mom was awful with math. How many times had they sat in this very spot and tried to count all the dandelions? Now they'd never finish counting. Tears welled within her eyes and her heart filled with sorrow. As the hot tears spilled into her hands she felt her mothers arms fold around her. 

"Little girls don't lose their daddies." she cried

"No Laura, they shouldn't." her mother replied as she tightened her arms around her

"We won't know how many dandelions there are."

"No. But the Lord knows and now I bet your daddy does too. I bet hes watching over you now and wishes he could tell you."

Her mother took her by the hand and together they walked far out into the field. Out until the house became small and everything was quiet. She placed a blanket on the ground and they lay staring up at the sky surrounded by puffy tipped dandelions. The wind picked up, the white tips swirled around them, and it was beautiful.




Now go link up!!!!!  The Chronicles of Chaos and Shelly's Cabaret 

This sucks

Image created via pixlr.com 

  I suck at this. I really truly do. I can not find a way to balance it all. Maybe some women are cut out to juggle mommy responsibilities and work, but I am not. While I am good at my job and I enjoy what I do, I am falling short in so many mommy areas. I forget about school events. I forget to pack lunches. I forget to remind Noah about his big projects...or sometimes to buy the supplies he needs for them. "Oh today is the school assembly....sorry I can't go because I forgot all about it and neglected to ask for the time off". I am terrible at this!  I honestly thought things would be better by now. Nope.

   I don't cook. I don't clean. I don't have time for any of it. I get home around 6 at night. Just in time to quickly feed the kids.....something. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who has usually already fed them. Then it's time for baths and to get the kids ready for bed. I usually eat dinner around 8. If you count eating tons of snacks as dinner. I think what bothers me most is that my children are suffering because of it. At least I think so. I don't have time to sit with Noah and go over his homework each night. I don't have time to sit and study with him like I used to. I know he would be doing so much better in school if I did. I'm missing out on time to snuggle and play with Emily. I HATE that she is constantly sick because of the awful daycare germs. Then I hate that I wrestle with "Does she really need to go to the doctor?" "Maybe I can give her medicine and send her to daycare?" If she stays home or if we keep Noah home one of us has to miss work. I can't possibly miss 2 or 3 days a week...AND that is how often she's sick.

Being a stay at home mom is by far the hardest job I've ever had BUT it is my absolute favorite.  It really IS the most rewarding. I love being able to keep the house clean. I love to cook. I love dealing with my crazy kids each and everyday. As tired and worn out as I was at the end of the day it was a satisfied  embracing tiredness. Now at the end of the day I feel a guilty deep saddening tiredness.  Right now it's very had to see the light of what seems to be an endless tunnel.

Write or Die Wednesday ~ Cozy

This weeks prompt is the word cozy.


co·zy

ˈkōzē/

adjective

1. giving a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation.

The word cozy brings so many things to mind.

Snuggling with my sweet baby girl Emily. 

Tucking Noah into bed at night.  

A dark room lit by candlelight 

Reading a really good book wrapped in a soft blanket. 
Sitting in front of a warm fire. 

Petting my dog. 

Naps! Naps are definitely cozy.

Long hot baths.

Hot coffee full of cream and sugar.

My best day would be a day full of all of these things! A girl can dream right?


And last but certainly not least...blogging. That definitely makes me feel cozy.

What do you think of when you hear the word cozy?


Head on over to The Chronicles of Chaos or Shelly's Cabaret and link up!